crydandra's Xanga

Are you there?

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:02:07 GMT

Aw hey what's up melatonins? Why are you like non-existent? This is the fifth night I've gone without sleep. Hellooooooo. I'm not tired at night. I'm only tired when I'm still stuck at work. My brain definitely sustained damage from all this sleeplessness--I have the now memory power of an unfertilized chicken egg--well, the difference is that an egg when hard-boiled stays in shape.

Been rereading my writing from 2001 when I was...seventeen? Sixteen? Sure I was sixteen for most of the year. Painful. Teenage logic, I figured, cannot be replicated, imitated, replicated by someone who is no longer teenage in mentality. That state of being when you're like so so so so self-sure and nobody understands you and nobody fights for what is right anymore and only you can change the world with what you write. Then you're an adult life and you're average and nobody understood you back then because you were just pretty confused, it's all.

...hormones.

And I'm beyond caring. It doesn't pay off to take care of myself. It doesn't pay to want to be good. I'm resuming my daily four dose of caffeine. Tonight nobody talks to me. Tonight nobody thinks about me. No hard feelings. This is a shit week, you know. I don't want to talk to nobody either.

(And oh hey Xanga stop trying to cross-post to Facebook.)

Not about you

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:18:30 GMT

This is not about you. This is never about you. This is about me and what I want. Your opinion is never part of it.

Food allergy attack.

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:00:07 GMT

WTF????????? WTF????????

I hate my oil allergy. Something I ate 9 hours ago shouldn't still hurt 9 hours later.

And I have an Indian food date tomorrow, too.

Food allergy: 1
Jen: 0

Movie Review: Dragonlance (2007)

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:33:41 GMT

Ooooh gawd.

Friday night, I turned on TV and saw the 2007 Dragonlance movie/animation/thing on, and man, that made me really miss the series which has been a favourite once a very long time ago. I hereby solemnly swear by Chronicles and Legend and all that is holy that the movie/animation/thing is shit for sewage, but I did finish watching to the end.

Oh gawd, how they butchered my beloved series.

I don't have a problem with character design--I think we Dragonlance fans have seen enough Larry Elmore and Matt Stawicki art (I am particularly a fan of the latter) and already have a pretty solid impression what they should look like. It is incredibly difficult to please everyone in any movie production based on a novel, so I won't complain about it. But oh gawd, this looks too much like a cheap production already at first glance, especially when the Draconians and the Dragons appeared in 3D form whereas everybody else are in 2D form. Someone should have told them that mixing 2D and 3D media wasn't cool since fifteen, twenty years ago, not to mention mixing honestly bad 2D and 3D animations.

I didn't catch the beginning and I won't be bothered to, and it has been so long since I read the books so I don't remember every single detail. It does feel true to the original--at least they didn't add anything extremely outrageous. I know they likely cut out a lot of stuff to fit it all into 90 minutes and they likely wanted to avoid scaring kids with acid death and things like that. I don't want to complain too much about it, but let me round it down to one unforgivable sin. Okay, two.

Raistlin.

I am so not happy. Noooooooo. What the hell did they do to my favourite character? Raistlin is supposed to be a young mage with too much ambition that he sacrifices his health for power. You are never entirely sure whose side he is on and what he will do next and he treats his brother Caramon like shit but you want him around regardless cuz you never know when he comes in handy and when he supplies the emotional scenes that makes the story so touching. Now what happened to in the movie/animation/shit? They turned him into a generic AD&D mage voiced by a strong and healthy Kiefter Sutherland. WTF? And they cut out so much stuff that Raistlin and Caramon didn't even have time to get to know each other. Seriously WTF? And Fizban--I loved how in the books Fizban sort of knew Raist would choose the dark path but I think he wanted to try to give him another view and Raist genuinely respected Fiz for his power without knowing who he was. That bit I found pretty touching but it was completely absent in the animation. Raistlin barely had any interaction with anyone.

Which brings me to the ending with Fiz revealing his identity. WTF? I won't spoil it for those who haven't read the books, but WTF, mate? It's atrocious.

Over all, I'm happy to have seen the movie cuz that reminds me of all the great things that I've experienced reading the books, but watching the movie...man, don't bother making an animation for the second book. Please just don't.

My opinion to anyone attempting to do a Dragonlance film: Get a good director. Get a good budget. Get real actors to act it out.

Jen Love Meter: 2 out of 5 Jens (1.5 Jens for old times' sake)
Jen Verdict: It's shit. Skip it.

In cross-reference to the emo-ness

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:20:34 GMT

I feel like writing a book on all the things (stupid or not) that I'm doing for the first time in my life in 2008.

1. I went on a business trip.
2. I bought a PS2 game online...before I have only bought books.
3. I changed my job...sorta. And drafted my resignation letter waiting for it to be sent out just whenever I find something better.
4. I got a PDA phone...and am on the verge of breaking it. The batteries' gone funny.
5. I finally managed to claim Asia Miles before the points all go down to the dumps. Got a digital camera that works and isn't a hand-me-down. Woot!
6. I hate my job...well, maybe not the first time, but with such a pronounced passion.
7. I learned to take a bus home from Aberdeen--I call that an accomplishment!
8. I blew up at my manager...even though I shouldn't have.
9. I dyed my hair.
10. Fell completely head over heels into J-rock and Japanese celebrities.
11. Dated a guy I didn't even know and called it off in less than 24 hours.
12. Been thought of as a Mainlander Chinese--never happened to me before. That incident made me feel very...uncomfortable.

There ought to be more, but I forgot as I was typing, so there...

Note to Self

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:49:47 GMT

Jen, dear.

Before you get all irritated and lose your temper, please, reread.

Cuz more often you've only misread.

Thank you.

Meme about Jen's writing

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:41:36 GMT

What's the last thing you wrote?
*sighs* Chapter 2 of Colour of Sin and still working on it.

Was it any good?
Do I look happy? No.

What's the first thing you ever wrote that you still have?
I don't know if I still have it, but two years ago before moving house, I still had that little book with the novel I wrote when I was 7.

Write poetry?
No. Not a poetry person, not for lack of trying though.

Angsty poetry?
See above response.

Most fun character you ever wrote?
There are a few. I have fun with most of them, but I really do like sarcastic old man Taris.

Most annoying character you ever wrote?
I think most of them faced the cut before I finished the first draft. From recent memory, it has to be Uthar.

Best plot you ever wrote?
I wouldn't say I have a best plot--I always hope to get better.

Coolest plot twist you ever wrote?
I'm not telling--it won't be a plot twist if I told.

How often do you get writer's block?
Like right now. Thrice every month and they last about two years.

How do you fix it?
Reading. Or I won't write at all and starve out the writer a few days. That usually works. Lately, the starving part has become involuntary.

Do you type or write by hand?
Both. When I write by hand, I'm usually more poetic, but then the problem would be I write too slowly and then I may forget whatever I was writing sometimes, if I am distracted. When I type, I'm usually more logical, more able to spot winding crap that I can cut out. Which is why my first drafts are usually done in hand and then typed into the computer for editing.

Do you save everything you write?
Limited to the stuff on my computer. I lose handwritten manuscripts too often.

Do you ever go back to an old idea long after you abandoned it?
How about yes? Every now and then I dig up something that I wrote when I was fourteen or sixteen and I want to revamp the storyline. .

What's your favourite thing that you've written?
Currently the Builders of Emeraldia/Light of Akuka/Hand of Seribur series. I have to like it cuz I've spent too many years on it.

What's everyone else's favorite thing that you've written?
Fanfictions. My Warcraft sagas Ranger General and Blood Leprechaun.

Do you ever show people your work?
Yes. I force them to read it quite often.

Did you ever write a novel?
Yes. Currently working on several too.

Have you ever written fantasy, sci-fi, or horror?
Yes. Yes. No.

Ever written romance or teen angsty drama?
I haven't written pure romance, but there's always a bit of romance in my stories. As for teen angsty drama, I was a teenager once. .

What's one genre you have never written, and probably never will?
Urm...I won't say there's one genre I'll never write. Cuz knowing myself if I say I'm not writing it, chances are I'll wake up the next morning and plot a story out of it.

How many writing projects are you working on right now?
At least three.

Do you want to write for a living?
Yes, I intend to.

Have you ever written something for a magazine or newspaper?
School magazines count?

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Not really.

Ever written something in script or play format?
Yes. Sometimes I do that when I'm brainstorming, but I always convert them into novel form before I finish.

What is your favourite word?
The.

Do you ever write based on yourself?
Myself? No. I'm too boring to be in any story. There are reflections of me here and there in my characters, sure, but I'd never write someone based entirely on me.

Which of your characters most resembles you?
See comment above.

Where do you get ideas for your characters?
Gee. I don't know. They come to me. Sometimes I get inspired by paintings or TV, but I seem to get most of my characters from paintings.

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
Once. Enelix began with a bizarre dream about multi-coloured pigeons that I had.

Do you prefer happy endings, sad endings, or cliff-hangers?
I prefer open endings that are more bittersweet than sad.

Have you ever written anything based on an artwork you've seen?
A lot of times. I am a visual writer.

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Extremely.

Ever write something entirely in chatspeak?
No. I wouldn't be able to understand myself.

Does music help you write?
Music distracts me. I prefer quiet when I'm writing. But sometimes, if I find a song that's perfect for setting the mood, I'd loop it on my player for hours.

Are people surprised and confused when they find out you write well?
I write well?

Write a quote from one of your stories.
From Fear Tower, a Star Wars fic that will likely never see the light of day...

They were beginning to feel it…

…the Force field levelled sharply, cutting into the black space around them…Vasser’s mangled body twitching, rising, coming to life from an insentient state. Ji-Ken cried out, his voice boyish, frail in the bottomless void.

Master Vasser attempted to rise. Ji-Ken ran to help him, but he halted when he saw that Vasser’s eyes had changed. They had gained a yellow pigment, charged with the dark side. It was almost as if another creature had taken over the master's fallen shell, but not.

“Master?”

Shoes Moosh

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:39:04 GMT

This is the high heel analysis, for Vee again :).

Brand: Geox
Colour: Black
Heel Height: 1.5"
Description: Very pointy, with silver buckle at sides. I've had these shoes for 3 years and they have been soaked in rain more than twice. They still look all right, a bit old-fashioned. I wear it only when I wear suit pants or jeans.
Verdict: PAINFUL

Brand: Bally
Colour: White
Heel Height: 1.5"
Description: Sandals with a plain strap and a silver oval-shaped buckle...my mom's. You'll see me wearing these whenever it's raining like shit. These are loose and comfortable, but they are very very very old and have been doused in rain for about 50 times. I totally need to replace them.
Verdict: COMFY (but ugly)

Brand: Naturalizer
Colour: White
Heel Height: 2.5"
Description: Sandals, with a flowery strap. Had them for about a year and these still kill my feet and make my toes bleed. The real problem, however, is that the sole doesn't stick to my feet maybe because the heel is too heavy. In them I clank down the MTR escalators like a giant and draw these weird stares.
Verdict: PAINFUL

Brand: Hush Puppies
Colour: Dark Blue
Heel Height: 1"
Description: Boots. These are really comfortable cowboy boots I got two years ago when it was in style. I wouldn't really wear them this winter cuz I don't think they are in fashion anymore. But these are really comfortable. Like puppies, mwahahaha. I can't wear them during summer, and I can't wear them in the rain.
Verdict: COMFY

Brand: Kokopelli
Colour: Nude
Heel Height: 1.5"
Description: These are the prettiest shoes I've had, but these incidentally are the most painful and most expensive pair of shoes I've ever bought. Nearly $1000 but I can't wear them at all. I would not hesitate to ask people not to buy this brand because it's just toooooo fracking painful (and expensive). And rain drenched on the fourth day I bought them--welcome to Hong Kong. Much fist shaking.
Verdict: PAINFUL (but pretty)

Brand: Florsheim
Colour: Dark Green
Heel Height: 2"
Description: My CEO commented this pair of shoes "That's an interesting colour" and I was so freaked out I asked "Is that good or bad?". I don't think I ever really got an answer. But these became an even odder shade of green when they were rain drenched (too). It has a ribbon with golden ornaments on each end. It looks really nice, and the sole feels really comfortable, but OH THE PAIN YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. The material this is made from is like really hard. The design is just...wrong. Absolutely not for walking.
Verdict: PAINFUL

Brand: Schroll
Colour: Black
Heel Height: 2.5"
Description: Plain black shoes with a fastening strap at the heel. These feel really high when I put them on, but they're not as painful as they look...unless they are worn for two consecutive days, they they really really hurt.
Verdict: COMFY (unless worn for two consecutive days)

Brand: Marks & Spencer's
Colour: Brown
Heel Height: 2.5"
Description: Short boots with a leather ribbon at the sides. I love this pair. They are wider fit and they never really made my feet painful. But the drawback is that I need to wear pants with these cuz they're not very...fashionable, shall we say?
Verdict: COMFY

Brand: Trample Art
Nickname: "The Seph Shoes"
Colour: Black, of course
Heel Height: 1"
Description: Pretty sandals fastened with black tie strings. A bit Roman-like. They're nicknamed Seph shoes because when tied, they look like Sephiroth's chest cross straps, only they're more elegant of course XD. But there are two drawbacks--the back CUTS my feet. And the shoelaces snapped within 2 months of purchase. The shop, however, replaced the shoelaces for free even though I lost the receipt.
Verdict: PAINFUL

Brand: Giselle Bundchen
Colour: Black
Heel Height: N/A
Description: Sandals--my favourite pair of sandals at the moment. I wore it to work one day when it was raining cats and dogs, with the thought that I'd go back to the office and change into my green Florsheim heels. But my sandals are way way way too comfy, so I braved breaching the "no-sandal" dress code at the office and did not change into my heels.
Verdict: TOO COMFY!! Much Jen <3

Brand: Hush Puppies
Nickname: "The Angeal Shoes"
Colour: Blue
Heel Height: 2.5"
Description: Made of sheep skin, puppies and Buster Sword. I know I should never have bought this pair. I blame my dad for rushing me XD...just kidding. These shoes are quite pretty and have a "wooden" heel, but I'm not completely happy with them. They are a bit too blue and hard to match. And they are painful and cut my feet badly.
Verdict: PAINFUL (Should never have bought them.)

Brand: Le Saunda
Nickname: "The Cheese Shoes"
Colour: Black
Heel Height: 1"
Description: An more elegant impression of Crocs...which says all about their appearance. I like how these have holes in them like Swiss Emmental. If only they were yellow. And a thin string bow which can be a faint impression of rat whiskers. They feel really comfortable...but HELL if I try to walk in them for too long. Maybe because my feet are already constantly in pain from wearing all the above mentioned devices of torture.
Verdict: COMFY (Most of the time)

...

Last but not least, the Wish Shoes:
Brand: Any
Colour: Dark Red
Heel Height: 2-3"
Description: Patent leather. Boots, heels, whatever...but they need to be comfortable.
Verdict: I must be dreaming.

My aunt

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 09:12:20 GMT

Aunt Nancy has colon cancer. She never told anyone until she was in so much pain.

We are asked to make a decision whether or not to turn off life-support.

*

I'm not sure how to say this.

She has always been a lively, giving person. She took good care of her parents, she took care of her elder sister who has been sick.

She never wanted us to know her suffering.

I'm really glad to have known her.

*

Where are the photos we took together? Where?

WTF Post of Angst

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:29:19 GMT

If there is a God above, I'd like to tell him "Fuck You" and not in an admiring way.